By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist “I’m not the problem, he is.” “It’s not my fault, it’s hers.” Many individuals feel this way in their relationships. Despite the popularity of the axiom “it takes two to tango,” many are quick to blame their partner instead of first looking at their own role in molding the situation. Th ...[Read More]
By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist I recently appeared on The HD Radio Show with Bryan Hyde to discuss the principles and practices of lasting marriages, including smart dating before marriage and healthy sexuality within that relationship. We also touched on building strong stepfamilies and followed up on Utah’s declaration of pornography as a public health crisis. W ...[Read More]
By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist We’ve all experienced it, the “Jekyll-and-Hyde Syndrome,” in which a normally decent partner, friend, or family member turns into an irrational dolt and/or grumpy monster. We feel frustrated when they won’t listen to reason, hurt when they lash out, and confused when they make choices we don’t agree with. In life and in my therapy pr ...[Read More]
Many believe that their relationships need less fighting and withdrawing, but what they really need is more affection.
By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Terminal illnesses are treated most effectively when they are caught early. Patients who resist a trip to the doctor and put it off often wish that they hadn’t. Disease often does the most damage when it’s left unchecked over time. This is also true of marital problems and marriage counseling. While many things can certainly be ...[Read More]
By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” The Golden Rule has been the standard of behavior in friendships, business partnerships, customer service, and much more. In marriage, however, it can actually lead to problems. Might I suggest an amendment? “Treat your spouse the way he or she wants to be treated.” How ...[Read More]
By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Hollywood favors “falling in love” stories rather than “staying in love” stories. Healthy, long-lasting marriages are far too often viewed by Tinseltown as dramatically stale, but there are exceptions to this rule. Below are 20 of my favorite cinematic depictions of what it takes to make love last. Click on the tit ...[Read More]
Want your partner to change? You might accidentally be hurting your cause. Here's what to do differently.
By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist You’ve likely seen the hilarious YouTube video “It’s Not About the Nail,” about the wife with a nail in her forehead, telling her husband about the pressure and pain she constantly feels. He suggests that she get the nail removed and grows frustrated when she insists that “it’s not about the nail,” ...[Read More]
By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist There may be no greater argument against lifelong monogamy than the bored couple in the restaurant. “Oh heaven, please don’t let us end up like them,” you may have thought as you observe them silently picking at their food, looking at their phones, or vacantly scanning the restaurant for something presumably more interest ...[Read More]