Day: September 2, 2015

marriage

Will Your Marriage Last? This Could Make All the Difference

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT Terminal illnesses are treated most effectively when they are caught early. Patients who resist a trip to the doctor and put it off often wish that they hadn't. Disease often does the most damage when it's left unchecked over time. This is also true of marital problems and marriage counseling. While many things can certainly be resolved and healed betwee ...[Read More]

dreams

Why Dreams Don’t Come True (and How to Make Sure Yours Do)

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT I saw Jaws at entirely too young of an age. The film terrified me, but it also sparked a lifelong obsession with sharks, particularly Great Whites (the species in the movie). For decades I fantasized about climbing into a cage and seeing one up close. It was on my bucket list. I once had the opportunity to cage-dive in shark-infested waters, but passed i ...[Read More]

forgiveness

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Trust

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical director, LMFT There seems to be a widespread belief, especially among those who've hurt others, that with forgiveness comes a restoration of trust. In other words, if the offended individual doesn't trust the offender and resume the same relationship with them, then the offended has not truly forgiven. Nothing could be further from the truth. Forgiveness is nothing mo ...[Read More]

spouse

Never Treat Your Spouse “Like You Want to be Treated.” Do This Instead.

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” The Golden Rule has been the standard of behavior in friendships, business partnerships, customer service, and much more. In marriage, however, it can actually lead to problems. Might I suggest an amendment? “Treat your spouse the way he or she wants to be treated.” How to Love Your S ...[Read More]

bullies

Are Your Kids Being Bullied? Teach Them This Trick

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT In the 2007 film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, our hero finds himself in a confrontation with his parents' murderer, Voldemort, an evil wizard so terrifying that people dare not say his name. Harry has dreaded this moment, which is something his adversary takes full advantage of. Voldemort possesses Harry's body, tormenting his ...[Read More]

sex

Amazing Married Sex: Myths and Truths

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT Have you ever stumbled while speaking in public or fumbled a job interview? Odds are, you were putting too much pressure on yourself to perform. While it's important to be fully engaged and to give our best efforts, the times when we are relaxed and accepting of imperfection are generally the times that we do our best. This is as true for sex as it is fo ...[Read More]

20 Movies That’ll Strengthen Your Marriage

20 Movies That’ll Strengthen Your Marriage

By Jonathan Decker (Clinical director, LMFT) Hollywood favors “falling in love” stories rather than “staying in love” stories. Healthy, long-lasting marriages are far too often viewed by Tinseltown as dramatically stale, but there are exceptions to this rule. Below are 20 of my favorite  cinematic depictions of what it takes to make love last. Click on the titles to buy the ...[Read More]

spouse

Are You Keeping Your Spouse from Changing?

Want your partner to change? You might accidentally be hurting your cause. Here's what to do differently.

films for fathers day

Films for Fathers’ Day

By Jonathan Decker (Family therapist, film critic) Happy Father's Day! Looking for a movie to celebrate with? Scroll on down for my suggestions. So make some wings and pizza, settle down on the couch with dad, and enjoy these touching tales of father-children relationships this week. Here are my favorite films for Father's Day. BACK TO THE FUTURE (buy or rent here) A teenager travels back in time ...[Read More]

depression

Why Depression Makes Easy Tasks Difficult (& How to Fight It)

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT THE WEIGHT OF DEPRESSION Could you eat a bowl of cereal? Of course you can, it's so easy! Now imagine that I've strapped heavy weights to your arms. Could you still do it? If the weight were heavy enough, how long would it take before your arms started shaking and you gave up in exhaustion? In this scenario, no one would say that a person is weak because ...[Read More]