Self Care

The Secret Way to a Meaningful Life

The Secret Way to a Meaningful Life

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical director, LMFT When it comes to our suffering, our experiences, and our lives, we often get hung up on the question: “What does this mean? Why is this happening to me? What am I supposed to learn from this?” Cosmic purposes and divine designs are issues for theology and philosophy, and interpretations and beliefs are so varied that I won’t impose my o ...[Read More]

4 Tips for When Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work

4 Tips for When Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” This satirical self-affirmation, made famous by Saturday Night Live character Stuart Smalley, highlights the type of thinking advised by many therapists, researchers, life coaches, and others. While there is much research to support the power of positive thinking, sometimes it just does ...[Read More]

dreams

Why Dreams Don’t Come True (and How to Make Sure Yours Do)

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT I saw Jaws at entirely too young of an age. The film terrified me, but it also sparked a lifelong obsession with sharks, particularly Great Whites (the species in the movie). For decades I fantasized about climbing into a cage and seeing one up close. It was on my bucket list. I once had the opportunity to cage-dive in shark-infested waters, but passed i ...[Read More]

bullies

Are Your Kids Being Bullied? Teach Them This Trick

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT In the 2007 film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, our hero finds himself in a confrontation with his parents’ murderer, Voldemort, an evil wizard so terrifying that people dare not say his name. Harry has dreaded this moment, which is something his adversary takes full advantage of. Voldemort possesses Harry’s body, to ...[Read More]

depression

Why Depression Makes Easy Tasks Difficult (& How to Fight It)

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT THE WEIGHT OF DEPRESSION Could you eat a bowl of cereal? Of course you can, it’s so easy! Now imagine that I’ve strapped heavy weights to your arms. Could you still do it? If the weight were heavy enough, how long would it take before your arms started shaking and you gave up in exhaustion? In this scenario, no one would say that a person is ...[Read More]

New Year's resolutions

Failed Your New Year’s Resolutions? 5 Ways to Start Over & Succeed

By Jonathan Decker (Clinical director, LMFT) There are countless stories and jokes about abandoned New Year’s resolutions, perhaps because the experience is so universal. When it comes to self-improvement, it seems that “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” So how do we overcome weakness to fulfill our goals? Allow me to share with you five keys which have helped my clie ...[Read More]

guilt

Is Guilt Healthy or Harmful?

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT In my observation there are two schools of thought about guilt. The first is that it’s a healthy emotion that inspires us to change our behavior, while the second argues that guilt contributes to feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness that impede our growth. So is guilt healthy or harmful? The truth is, it can be either. Like fire, guilt can be ...[Read More]

How to Balance Self-Care with Helping Others

How to Balance Self-Care with Helping Others

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT When I was young, my father and I bonded over archery. Dad taught me that I had to unstring the bow when I wasn’t using it, allowing the wood to straighten and the cord to dangle loose. If I didn’t allow the bow to rest, or in other words, if I left the cord tight and the wood bent, I’d ruin the bow. Over time, it’d no longer be taut. T ...[Read More]

happy

Can You Really Stay Happy, No Matter What?

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT One night, while stargazing near Brian Head, UT I noticed an especially bright star in my right periphery. Stunned by its brilliance, I shifted my gaze to admire it directly. It disappeared. Black space existed where the star had been. Thinking that I was mistaken, I looked elsewhere only to have it appear again, shining brightly once more in my peripher ...[Read More]

The Secret Way Suffering Helps Us to Help Others

The Secret Way Suffering Helps Us to Help Others

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMT “Whatever the sorrow, whatever the concern, whatever the pain and anguish, look for a way to turn it to beneficial use- perhaps in helping others to avoid the same problems, or perhaps by developing a greater insight into the feelings of others who are struggling in a similar way.” – Howard Hunter “Why me?” This ubiquitous cr ...[Read More]