By Jonathan Decker, Clinical director, LMFT When it comes to our suffering, our experiences, and our lives, we often get hung up on the question: “What does this mean? Why is this happening to me? What am I supposed to learn from this?” Cosmic purposes and divine designs are issues for theology and philosophy, and interpretations and beliefs are so varied that I won't impose my own upo ...[Read More]
The Secret Way to a Meaningful Life
Suicide: How to Help Those Left Behind
By Jonathan Decker (Clinical director, LMFT) No one should have to suffer the pain of a loved one’s suicide alone. However, in the face of such a tragic loss friends and family may feel ill-equipped to help; after all, what good are any words or actions next to the enormity of such sorrow? Two months ago, I was fortunate enough to attend a seminar entitled “Suicide Bereavement: What Works and What ...[Read More]
The Secret Way Suffering Helps Us to Help Others
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMT “Whatever the sorrow, whatever the concern, whatever the pain and anguish, look for a way to turn it to beneficial use- perhaps in helping others to avoid the same problems, or perhaps by developing a greater insight into the feelings of others who are struggling in a similar way.” – Howard Hunter “Why me?” This ubiquitous cr ...[Read More]
The Best Ways to Help When Someone is Grieving
By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist In 2005 one of my college buddies lost his mother to terminal illness. My heart broke for him: I was close with my mom and struggled to comprehend what it would be like if she died. Although I wanted to be there for him, I found myself frozen into inaction, intimidated by the enormity of his loss. I felt inadequate in the face of it. Nothi ...[Read More]
Why the “Bored Couple at the Restaurant” May be the Happiest
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT There may be no greater argument against lifelong monogamy than the bored couple in the restaurant. “Oh heaven, please don't let us end up like them,” you may have thought as you observe them silently picking at their food, looking at their phones, or vacantly scanning the restaurant for something presumably more interesting than their partne ...[Read More]