guilt

spouse

Is it Ever Just One Spouse’s Fault? (The Answer Will Surprise You)

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT “I'm not the problem, he is.” “It's not my fault, it's hers.” Many individuals feel this way in their relationships. Despite the popularity of the axiom “it takes two to tango,” many are quick to blame their partner instead of first looking at their own role in molding the situation. The truth is, both partners created ...[Read More]

guilt

Is Guilt Healthy or Harmful?

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT In my observation there are two schools of thought about guilt. The first is that it's a healthy emotion that inspires us to change our behavior, while the second argues that guilt contributes to feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness that impede our growth. So is guilt healthy or harmful? The truth is, it can be either. Like fire, guilt can be benef ...[Read More]

How to Help Men and Boys Be Honest, Accountable

How to Help Men and Boys Be Honest, Accountable

By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist   Note: this article represents a combination of the author’s insights and information from the book How to Improve You Marriage Without Talking About It, by Steven Stosny Ph.d and Patricia Love.  For the record, dishonesty, manipulation, and blame-shifting aren’t exclusively male problems. We all know women and girls who do the same. Also ...[Read More]