By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT We’ve all experienced it, the “Jekyll-and-Hyde Syndrome,” in which a normally decent partner, friend, or family member turns into an irrational dolt and/or grumpy monster. We feel frustrated when they won’t listen to reason, hurt when they lash out, and confused when they make choices we don’t agree with. In life and in my therapy practice, I’ve fo ...[Read More]
Many believe that their relationships need less fighting and withdrawing, but what they really need is more affection.
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT Terminal illnesses are treated most effectively when they are caught early. Patients who resist a trip to the doctor and put it off often wish that they hadn't. Disease often does the most damage when it's left unchecked over time. This is also true of marital problems and marriage counseling. While many things can certainly be resolved and healed betwee ...[Read More]
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical director, LMFT There seems to be a widespread belief, especially among those who've hurt others, that with forgiveness comes a restoration of trust. In other words, if the offended individual doesn't trust the offender and resume the same relationship with them, then the offended has not truly forgiven. Nothing could be further from the truth. Forgiveness is nothing mo ...[Read More]
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” The Golden Rule has been the standard of behavior in friendships, business partnerships, customer service, and much more. In marriage, however, it can actually lead to problems. Might I suggest an amendment? “Treat your spouse the way he or she wants to be treated.” How to Love Your S ...[Read More]
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT Have you ever stumbled while speaking in public or fumbled a job interview? Odds are, you were putting too much pressure on yourself to perform. While it's important to be fully engaged and to give our best efforts, the times when we are relaxed and accepting of imperfection are generally the times that we do our best. This is as true for sex as it is fo ...[Read More]
By Jonathan Decker (Clinical director, LMFT) Hollywood favors “falling in love” stories rather than “staying in love” stories. Healthy, long-lasting marriages are far too often viewed by Tinseltown as dramatically stale, but there are exceptions to this rule. Below are 20 of my favorite cinematic depictions of what it takes to make love last. Click on the titles to buy the ...[Read More]
Want your partner to change? You might accidentally be hurting your cause. Here's what to do differently.
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT While some dads are deadbeats and some mothers truly do an amazing job raising kids on their own, the lasting effects of a great father cannot be underestimated. I should know, because my dad is amazing. I say this neither to boast nor to gush, but rather because, in both my personal and professional opinion, he's got this dad thing pretty much figured o ...[Read More]
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT Although increasingly common, stepfamilies (or “blended” families) are often misunderstood. Old-fashioned types may see them as abnormal. Well-meaning “progressives” erroneously assume that blended families are the same as first-marriage families “once the dust settles.” Research and experience demonstrate, however, that “the idea that the st ...[Read More]