marriage

stepfamily

6 Keys for Successful StepFamilies

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT Although increasingly common, stepfamilies (or “blended” families) are often misunderstood. Old-fashioned types may see them as abnormal. Well-meaning “progressives” erroneously assume that blended families are the same as first-marriage families “once the dust settles.” Research and experience demonstrate, however, that “the idea that the st ...[Read More]

Why the “Bored Couple at the Restaurant” May be the Happiest

Why the “Bored Couple at the Restaurant” May be the Happiest

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT There may be no greater argument against lifelong monogamy than the bored couple in the restaurant. “Oh heaven, please don't let us end up like them,” you may have thought as you observe them silently picking at their food, looking at their phones, or vacantly scanning the restaurant for something presumably more interesting than their partne ...[Read More]

How to Help Men and Boys Be Honest, Accountable

How to Help Men and Boys Be Honest, Accountable

By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist   Note: this article represents a combination of the author’s insights and information from the book How to Improve You Marriage Without Talking About It, by Steven Stosny Ph.d and Patricia Love.  For the record, dishonesty, manipulation, and blame-shifting aren’t exclusively male problems. We all know women and girls who do the same. Also ...[Read More]

sexual

The Key to Sexual Fulfillment? It’s Not What Many People Think

By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT This article contains a frank, but not crass, discussion of sex and is intended for mature readers.  CHASING AFTER MIRAGES You see the headlines screaming at you from the magazine rack at the grocery store. They say things like “Rock His World Tonight,” and “101 Forbidden Positions to Spice Things Up!” If you check your junk mail ...[Read More]

not about the nail

You Just Want to Be Heard, He Wants to “Fix It.” Why Not Both?

By Jonathan Decker, (Clinical Director, LMFT) You've likely seen the hilarious YouTube video “It's Not About the Nail,” about the wife with a nail in her forehead, telling her husband about the pressure and pain she constantly feels. He suggests that she get the nail removed and grows frustrated when she insists that “it's not about the nail,” wanting him to validate her fe ...[Read More]