By Jonathan Decker, Clinical director, LMFT When it comes to our suffering, our experiences, and our lives, we often get hung up on the question: “What does this mean? Why is this happening to me? What am I supposed to learn from this?” Cosmic purposes and divine designs are issues for theology and philosophy, and interpretations and beliefs are so varied that I won't impose my own upo ...[Read More]
The Secret Way to a Meaningful Life
4 Tips for When Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” This satirical self-affirmation, made famous by Saturday Night Live character Stuart Smalley, highlights the type of thinking advised by many therapists, researchers, life coaches, and others. While there is much research to support the power of positive thinking, sometimes it just does ...[Read More]
Why Dreams Don’t Come True (and How to Make Sure Yours Do)
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT I saw Jaws at entirely too young of an age. The film terrified me, but it also sparked a lifelong obsession with sharks, particularly Great Whites (the species in the movie). For decades I fantasized about climbing into a cage and seeing one up close. It was on my bucket list. I once had the opportunity to cage-dive in shark-infested waters, but passed i ...[Read More]
Are You Keeping Your Spouse from Changing?
Want your partner to change? You might accidentally be hurting your cause. Here's what to do differently.
Failed Your New Year’s Resolutions? 5 Ways to Start Over & Succeed
By Jonathan Decker (Clinical director, LMFT) There are countless stories and jokes about abandoned New Year's resolutions, perhaps because the experience is so universal. When it comes to self-improvement, it seems that “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” So how do we overcome weakness to fulfill our goals? Allow me to share with you five keys which have helped my clients, m ...[Read More]
Is Guilt Healthy or Harmful?
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT In my observation there are two schools of thought about guilt. The first is that it's a healthy emotion that inspires us to change our behavior, while the second argues that guilt contributes to feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness that impede our growth. So is guilt healthy or harmful? The truth is, it can be either. Like fire, guilt can be benef ...[Read More]
Why You Should Exercise for Sanity, Not Vanity
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT When I was younger, working out was all about how I would look in my swimming trunks. In my 20's it seemed easier to find time for it. As I've gotten older, the challenges of balancing career, marriage, and parenthood have contributed to the mentality that I'm “too busy” or “too tired” to exercise. What's more, I've tried to justi ...[Read More]
How God’s Love Can Help You to Love Yourself
By Jonathan Decker, Clinical Director, LMFT Billions of people worldwide believe in God in some form or another. One of the most universal doctrines is that God loves everyone. Sometimes people settle into the idea that “God loves everyone simply because He's God.” To me, this is a lazy, impractical theology. If God just arbitrarily loves everyone, vaguely and collectively, then there' ...[Read More]