By Jonathan Decker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
In 2005 one of my college buddies lost his mother to terminal illness. My heart broke for him: I was close with my mom and struggled to comprehend what it would be like if she died. Although I wanted to be there for him, I found myself frozen into inaction, intimidated by the enormity of his loss. I felt inadequate in the face of it. Nothing I could say or do would take away the pain he was feeling. I didn’t know what he was going through by experience and therefore felt that I had no place to give advice or comfort. So, to my shame, I did nothing, leaving the consoling to his closer friends and family while I sympathized from a distance.
It’s Lonely When Friends Keep Their Distance
The next year my own mother unexpectedly passed away, and the reality of my friend’s pain took on a terribly immediacy. The tables were turned and I found myself on the receiving end of people’s awkward inability to approach the mourner. Perhaps they felt inadequate in the face of my loss. Maybe they thought that discussing anything “day-to-day” or “normal” with me might be insensitive. Whatever the reasons, the result was that I felt isolated when I most needed support.
When a friend loses a loved one it's easy to be intimidated by their loss and do nothing. Unsure of what to do or say, we may hold back when we're needed the most. Here's what to do instead. READ MORE AT: http://yourfamilyexpert.com/what-to-do-when-a-friend-loses-a-loved-one/
Posted by Your Family Expert on Thursday, June 9, 2016